Well paying government jobs at Goldman Sachs 04/10/2010
![]() The news that Goldman Sachs is seeking a few good-looking, ethnically-diverse interns to compete in its increasingly public S.M.U.G. program (Specious Megalomaniacs Undermining Government) has would-be Cinderellas buying up Blankfein bars like they're running out of milk & honey. If you’re hungry for wealth, power & status, yet more aesthetically suited for the moral façade of public service, the Goldman Sachs' S.M.U.G. program may be the golden ticket you’ve been looking for. Since America’s first pigmented president found a winning ticket and the top spot at Goldman's biggest candy factory, S.M.U.G. recruiters have enjoyed a tidal wave of interest from the overachieving underclasses. Unfortunately, the program only takes the most comprehensively census-baffling & small-handed to fill its high-powered positions, so there’s no need for the grab-happy or marginally purebred to get their hope on. “We're not trying to be ironically inclusive, like a P. Diddy White Party, we're not in retail for Christ's sake, but these are media-driven times, the propaganda is Unforgivable, sure, but it makes shit smell sweet, lets be honest. The face of an organization like ours has to be as diverse as a T-mobile ad, as green as a fair trade banana and elusive like the Easter bunny. Besides, doing God’s work is a lot easier when your dick's dipped in sugar, capiche?” – Lloyd Blankfein The S.M.U.G. alums of old no doubt recall when the program was more secretive & ruthlessly excluding, nevertheless, they always seem ready to sing praise for the golden ticket, “I thought life had peaked in Ivy League, seriously, listen to me. Haze, hazing mine, minority students desperate to join the, uh, the rank n' file of American power brokers seemed to be as good as it got. Coming up in the 70s, dream, dreaming of exploiting good-looking lobbyists from the NAACP was a groovy acid trip, it just wasn't real enough. When G, G.W. arrived, jib-jabbering with a chocolate dipped staff, I knew there was a golden ticket in there for me, too. When Goldman finally propped my stuttering ass up at the helm of the devil's delight, uh, the treasury, and I got to dip my dick in a giant vat, vat of melted, chocolate souls, just like Lloyd promised. Saying the harvest of the American sweet-dream machine has been bountiful is the un, understatement of the century.” – Henry Paulson If you enjoy insensitive sensibilities, please check out the new Robbin' Hood t-shirt. It's Ben Bernanke in his early 20s, back when he was "straight up robbin' fools," long before peer pressure made him get "a real job." A great look for the activist or ironic financier looking for laughs at the next uptown shindig. CommentsD.C. Mon, 12 Apr 2010 01:43:39 That's deep. Deep in the cut. Megatron Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:05:03 If you're up to what I think you are--it being hard to tell because you're so grossly verbose ;P--well, it should be pretty funny, das all I'm sayin' bout dat. ben Fri, 16 Apr 2010 08:25:53 looooooolz: bb Sun, 02 May 2010 20:43:03 mkt's in correction mode, repeating pullback pattern of Jan 2010, might even be wave A of elliot wave pattern. hmmm.. i'm in for some FAZ calls just in case. watch FAZ pop next week, it's breaking out. i was in FAZ calls prior to April 16, sold on that day, and then also prior to April 27th, sold on that day, but big money-losing mistake was in re-buying 3X bear ETFs after selling those. oh well. this time no hesitation to ride out those $11 FAZ calls until FAZ hits $13ish, which is what i'm betting on. JP Tue, 04 May 2010 09:14:00 Whether conscious or subconscious reasoning has led you to such a hypothesis, I'm inclined to agree with it. bb Tue, 04 May 2010 11:25:31 apriori or intuitive reasoning cannot in every instance replace experimentation in the real world, for the randomness in the real world may surprise our expectations, thus the need to test hypotheses. bb Thu, 13 May 2010 01:30:31 hokay, so i have been thinking about trends, for philosophical and practical matters, and with regard to your site(s), perhaps the best strategy is to (1) stay relevant AND (2) provide real value (e.g. information or meaningful, useful analysis). i don't think trying to jack traffic through domain name and SEO is effective in the long-term, maybe it might yield tiny little measurable results in the form of, say, ad-revenue pennies and dollars, but that effect, even if arises, may not be sustainable unless you provide (1) and (2). look at zerohedge.com, it's pretty popular and gained readers over time because it (1) stays relevant and (2) provides value in the form of information AND information analysis/explanation. bb Thu, 13 May 2010 01:36:20 i forgot to add in the 3rd paragraph above that people genuinely value and want to make sense of our increasingly complex world. they just don't know what to think anymore because there's so much empty chatter and so much information, and this uncertainty results in the lack of confidence to make decisions (this is the reason why i failed to hold my FAZ calls going into May 6th-7th: lack of confidence). i think this desire for understanding and analysis is the reason why Cramer has an audience and a following, even though the data shows that he's wrong most of the time: people want answers, want confidence, want a leader. if you can provide that in blog-form, it'll only raise the likelihood of you actually gaining and increasing sustainable traffic, as opposed to playing the SEO gamble. bb Wed, 26 May 2010 19:54:16 i agree with you 100% now: this bloated POS called the USA needs to suffer a second Great Depression, our fellow citizens take everything for granted, and are completely worthless in terms of real skills, relative to other people in other nations (myself included). JPF Thu, 27 May 2010 10:25:34 Did you read The Black Swan? JPF Thu, 27 May 2010 11:33:40 Yes. If we cannot feed, clothe, shelter and protect ourselves without money as the intermediary, our skills are sorely lacking, a deficit that will ultimately turn to downfall. The Renaissance man is the opposite of the Modern Man. The MM is a one trick pony; a cog in an interdependent network of specialists. bb Thu, 27 May 2010 11:34:57 yeah, cover to cover, i finally finished it last week (the library kept recalling it because others requested it) and it basically completely changed the way i think and see things now. i know i'm 3 years late reading it, but oh well, "better late than never". there's a new paperback version coming out. i follow Taleb's tweets too, some nice gems of wisdom there. bb Thu, 27 May 2010 12:32:15 good thoughts, thanks for the reply. JPF Thu, 27 May 2010 17:45:32 On imbalance - yes, so true, here is a great explanation of the mathematic underlying your intuition... bb Thu, 27 May 2010 20:52:00 complementarity reasoning: b Sat, 29 May 2010 21:48:32 the war on work, the anti-work mentality in the U.S.: JPF Sun, 30 May 2010 13:06:43 Awesome clip. Gotta love fora.tv bb Tue, 01 Jun 2010 14:58:59 what made the big impact to me from that Mike Rowe talk was near the end, when he pointed out why the U.S. is in trouble: we focus so much, perhaps even entirely, on INNOVATION (the creation of new products & services), and not enough on imitation (the process of producing, reproducing products through real manufacturing). Thu, 08 Jul 2010 07:49:08 As a paranoid & prudent investor, the only stocks I feel safe owning are the so called "sin" stocks such as gambling, alcohol, tobacco, and guns. Of course, load up on gold too, and don't listen to bogus advice about the "gold bubble" which the banking industry wants us to believe. I am just using a primitive buy and hold strategy, and I've done alright with my sin stocks. Certainly I am not rich, but I haven't lost my ass, and the dividends keep coming every quarter. Leave a Reply |