... down a hole.

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and came upon a glorious "new" world. 

It was a world of abundant resources and geographic splendor untouched by western civilization and inhabited by naive ‘savages’ whom spoke in an unintelligible tongue, a fantastic place to spend a three-day weekend, it was Mexico. 

It was actually Cuba, but as many white people will tell you, there is essentially no difference between Mexico and Cuba other than the US Government frowns upon Americans visiting Cuba due to its repeated snubbing of McDonalds franchises and its historical revolts against slave labor, both of which render the Cuban populous ineligible for sub-prime loans and therefore an enemy of American Capitalism, that, and it’s much easier to smuggle Valium into the US from Mexico. 

The point is, from the white man's perspective, little has changed ‘south of the border’ since the time of Columbus.  And that's just fine. 

In fact, the only fundamental difference between the indigenous folk of yore and those that inhabit Mexico today is a change envisioned through Columbus’ very eyes the moment he stepped off his galleon: “They ought to make good and skilled servants, for they repeat very quickly whatever we say to them. I think they can very easily be made Christians, for they seem to have no religion.” 

To a white man, Mexico represents all the wonderful things they can’t get at home including cheap labor, beachfront property, a place to escape embezzlement charges,  and prostitutes that look like Jennifer Lopez.  In a word, vacation.

There are many ways the white man vacations in Mexico.  Depending on how rich a male of whiteness may be or what state of mind he's in seven drinks deep during a bachelor party in downtown San Diego, planning a trip to Mexico may range from the intricate, well-thought-out and expensive to the impromptu, thirty minute drunken drive to Tijuana for whatever can be had for sixty bucks.

Whatever the case may be, Mexico has long been and will continue to be a favorite of the white male. 

As long as the indigenous people of Mexico remain non-threatening by working happily for tortillas while believing two-hundred-year-old statues can weep human blood, all the while displaying childlike innocence through insatiable appetites for bobble-heads of Jesus (Hey Zeus!), Whitey will always enjoy visiting Mexico and exploiting its ample resources.

                                                                                                          -JPF

::The last three posts were spoofs of that loosely wound and offensively mediocre virus, SWPL.  So we made like the Japanese, took some slightly inventive but poorly constructed American shit, er, Canadian shit, and made it better.  Sue us.  At least we'll know you care.