... down a hole.

 
 
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Too me, the new and young Andy Sandberg bites the old and old Weird Al Yankovic.  'Two Jews in a pod' one might say. 

The recent MTV Awards was the first time I’d seen Andy in action; I usually avoid T.V. because it raises my testosterone to unmanageable levels where all I wanna do is kick people in their overexposed dicks. 

New style can’t cover up old concepts.  We Americans pander to youth and love gorging on 'up-to-date' slang even if they're empty calories.  Oxford unabrizzled.  Besides, one isn't hip if they can’t muster up some ebonics or maintain the interest of a 15 year old for more than 10 seconds. 

But watching teenagers reminds me of things that should've stayed yesterday, and not in a good way, like day-old French pastries--rather like the morning blow-ass after a night of hard drinking capped by a carne asada burrito and too much hot sauce. 

The beauty of youth is that everything is fresh and surprises do exist.  When one gets older, and the novelties dry up, we pretend to have forgotten the punch lines so we can still enjoy the jokes.  That is until we’re really old and blessed with senility. 

MTV is the voice of America’s youth and it reminds me of a thrift store where I dropped off a pile of old shit 10 years ago.  Pretty soon Emimen will be forced to salvage that neon pink Alf shirt from the box in his mom’s garage because its $100 remix is sold out in every self-respecting boutique on Rodeo Dr and his daughter simply 'must' have one. 

Things come back around: bell bottoms, aviators, punk.  I get that.  But if life's made up of things we can’t do yet and things we can’t do anymore, I can no longer pretend I haven’t noticed.  My life experiences are becoming a vintage shop. 

Maybe that’s the ticket for generation X.  It’s our turn to start dumping old shit on the newbies.  Anyway, a youthful colleague suggested I watch “I’m on a boat.”  What can I say?  Andy’s the mutha' fuckin' captain... I'm on this boat, bitchaaaays!

 


Comments

Boats Float

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 23:31:30

Is that Tiger Woods having an orgy on the deck? Such a rock star.

 



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