... down a hole.

 
 
Picture
Seeing the Eminem drama on MTV last night reminded me of some time ago.

 It was the summer of 99' and I'd long since drank my first 6-pack and smoked my first dime. The novelty that summer was a job at the Four Seasons, valet parking cars.  It was also the summer that Eminem was 'blowing up.' 

Hearing Eminem rap was the first time I became genuinely enthralled with hip-hop lyricism outside a passing fancy for Nas, Bone Thugs and Biggie.  He was unique.  He was white. 

I would listen to his songs playing in Bentleys, Ferraris, and Porsches and it wasn't long before I was mimicking him during "work." 

One day I got into an altercation with another valet.  His name was Dave.  I don't remember why we'd annoyed one another, but I do remember we had an audience. 

Dave hurled a couple of standard insults at me, backed by a few jeers from the crowd of valets.  But then, out of the blue, I unleashed a most hellish, ass-ripping freestyle upon him that was so purely devastating, it not only resulted in the complete defamation of Dave's character, but the utter annihilation of his very soul. 

It went something like this:

Dave
you better behave
I may wave
but if you cross me I'll put you in a grave
beat you so hard you'll cave
become my slave for three days
on your knees, serving me and my G's
in a basement, you die
I get a replacement, you lie
by the furnace decomposing
I'm supposing
I could use your body to heat my house for a week
don't fall asleep
I'll creep into your room, with a broom, it's over soon
you wake up your ass is swollen
like somethings been inside you, POKING YOUR COLON!

...The valets went ape-shit, and I was lauded for the next six months.  It was mini fame, or infamy.  Either way, it felt good.  It was genuine reverence, the most significant I'd experienced.  I didn’t chase it though.  I let it come and go.  Those were the days.
 


Comments

B-rad

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:01:58

sic rapp nugga, show nuff!

 



Leave a Reply