... down a hole.

Cocaine is like a drug.  When a white man does cocaine he feels the world is his oyster once again and he can accomplish anything.  It is almost inevitable that this sensation conjures an extravagant interest in sex.

Even so, a white male's abilities to capitalize on sensations occurring while on cocaine are quite unpredictable.  As with all things, improvement is always possible with practice, however, a white man's preference is to be a master of all activities without preoccupation or perceptible effort. 

As a rule, white men don’t like to be known for preoccupation because it suggests dependency, and that's weakness.  Even so, there is a well established paradox that contradicts this rule.

If a white man happens to be a musician or artist, compulsively overdoing sex and drugs is considered acceptable, and in fact, the minimum requirement to establishing credibility as a full time "creative" person.  

To the white man, creativity is simply the lack of responsibility, and the perfect excuse for irresponsible addictions like sex and cocaine. 

White men like to brag about having "a real job," but this is usually to distract attention from their real ambition: consuming copious amounts of sex and drugs, making flawless business decisions and staying trim well into their 60s, like Mic Jagger.  Most activities considered enjoyable by white males are designed to take their minds of such unfulfilled ambitions, or deny them completely. 

Just for fun, if you ever want to cause an internal crisis in a white man, simply suggest they "need" something or "couldn't live without it."  Be careful however, a white man in crisis will often take to confrontational behavior that has the potential to destroy a cocktail or office party in which someones image is at stake. 

White males love to feel independent and do not take easily to obligations that don't look good on their resume; this includes family, friends, children or the draft.  The only times a white man considers allegiance is when he's ignorant,  ‘on the record,' or promised a better parking space.  

When the white man invented God he generally decided not to “drink the Kool-Aid”, but since globalization and the black market have eroded Ghost Face's control he has become paranoid and high strung.  His solution to this has been the philosophy that ‘everything is OK in moderation,’ this includes sex, cocaine, and Asian leading men. 

With various inconveniences such as civil rights and affirmative action still popular, white men feel a certain historical uneasiness which prompts domesticated rebellion in modern, hallmark style: passive-aggression.  Doing cocaine or sex in the restroom of an expensive fusion restaurant or nightclub and saying something sarcastic is often viewed as the perfect solution.    

Planting or getting people hooked on drugs is one of the white mans favorite ways to circumvent competition.  Another one of Whitey's favorite past-times is to figure out how to exploit laws to his benefit. 

These are two additional highs that white men encounter when doing cocaine and planning elicit sex in semi-public places: figuring out whom to blame their actions on if they're caught or outsmarting a jury are both very exciting prospects to a white man.

If a white male feels comfortable around you he may mention the enjoyment associated with “snorting cocaine off a hookers ass," along with his favorite 1980s movies depicting such activities, usually starring Rob Lowe or James Spader.  This irritates white women, but they secretly wish they could be Darryl Hannah because she has long legs and is a natural blonde. 

White men are well aware of the complications between cocaine use and sexual performance. 

This doesn’t matter to a white male, however.  White men hate to admit they can’t have whatever they want, and if they find themselves in such a situation they simply pick-a-pill, turn on some Rick Springfield--preferably Jessie's girl--and rationalize their way out of it.    
                                                                                                -JPF