... down a hole.

 
Porn & diet coke 03/26/2010
 
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If I came across an article stating porn and diet coke to be the perfect mascots for modern life, I wouldn't think to argue.  I would simply nod silently, pop a cap and ready my unscented Albolene for an extended confirmation.

Another man chugs a diet can then ejaculates down a hole into Wonderland. 

Such a scenario could easily be footnoted with an alarming statistic of frequency - [Every 7 minutes in this country someone gulps a placebo and discharges into the abyss of fantasy.] 

As desirable effect becomes the antithesis of our instinct and capability, that which promises inconsequence is welcomed, as it keeps us slim & independent to nimbly pursue detachment from a counterintuitive world.

Yes, being moot is now mainstream, a phenomena jizz-jacking all level of slacking, pimp-lacking, captive, whacking wildlife. 

One time, at the zoo, I witnessed a Silverback gorilla partaking of his harem while the "lesser" apes watched and masturbated. 

These grade-B males had zero chance of becoming baby daddies, bedposts shamefully unadorned with notches, but their bananas remained cheap (thanks WTO!) and they certainly weren't burdened by competition or the never-ending chore of watching over their shoulders for marauding hard-ons. 

A few rungs up that spank-ladder we got the Homo Sip n' Click with a knack for stackin' tools sicker than spit-dipped ant sticks & two-fingered dick-peelers, like diet coke & smut reels.

So, faith healers, meager prophets eating pig ears, those fearing wrath from a capital & stashing cash for the pivotal clash between The Criminals Past and Used-up Satirical Ass are at last alone, behind the glass of a congenital show, loving the last laugh of an underclass rooted deeper than grass growing on graves of the past.       

After a long fast, we primates of the Diet Penis genus no longer have to expend real energy to provide the food society requires, nor do we need to expend our seed to conceive a breed that meets the creed of, "this mutha-fuckin' meat for eternity!"  Japanese hobots, The Third World and Obama's health care have it all covered.

So, at superficial glance (puh, what else?), it seems the world has weened itself off thy nuts and nubility, but left some unrelenting hand habits.  It also seems The Matrix is fortuitously coming to the rescue and we will, eventually, be comfortably cradled in the well-oiled palms of irrelevance.

What will all those souls driven by "purpose" or slave wages do with themselves?  I can only imagine.

To all this I might say, "take that, Nature, you dirty bitch and star of a recent video I downloaded."  Kumbaya, that we can finally circumvent the basic laws of physics and free ourselves from the unnecessary logic of sex begetting life and food producing fat.  We're on top of the world, in 3D IMAX! 

Finally.  Each action doesn’t necessarily produce an equal & opposite reaction.  Costs are shipped 'to the moon,' Alice.  If pleasure's life’s incentive system, we’ve outsmarted it.  To take and not receive, a simple joy, for just to be! 

We get the cheese without trippin' the trap.  Dirty rats.  I love this fucking, Wonderland!

I'm sorry, big horse dicks like this entry get thoroughly beaten.

Really, I for one can’t wait to plug into a virtual world and live out a lurid existence in post-Newtonian irrelevance.  “Clamp my nipples and pass me a diet coke, I’m moot and it makes me h-a-r-d!”