... down a hole.

 
 
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A fella drinks a diet soda and ejaculates on the floor; a phenomena that could easily be footnoted with an alarming statistic of frequency--every 7 minutes in this country, a dude gulps a placebo and discharges into oblivion. 

Being moot is mainstream.  Consequences are a burden, now irrelevance is by design. 

At the zoo, witness a Silverback gorilla partaking of his harem, while the lesser apes—those naturally or willfully unable to compete for access to females--just watch and masturbate. 

These grade B males have zero chance of being a baby daddy, their bedposts are shamefully unadorned with notches, but they don’t have to find a way to keep extra bananas on the table, or constantly watch over their shoulders for marauding hard-ons. Outside the zoo that is. 

Then a few rungs up the intellectual ladder we have the Nouveau Ape Clan (N.A.C.) wielding the coolest tools since the spit-dipped ant stick: porn and Diet Coke. 

Thank, God, we can now circumvent the most basic laws of physics and free ourselves from the necessitating drives of life begetting life, or fat, completely avoiding competition between opposing forces.

Finally, each action doesn’t necessarily produce an equal and opposite reaction.  If pleasure is life’s little incentive system, we’ve outsmarted it. 

We now get the cheese without setting off the trap.  Dirty rats.  I for one can’t wait to plug into a virtual world and live out a lurid existence in post-Newtonian irrelevance.  “Clamp my nipples and pass me a Diet Coke, I’m moot and it makes me h-a-r-d!”      

This post could have been magnitudes better considering the inspiring title, which came first.  But I lost steam. C'est la vie!